Have you ever had someone try to put you down and it came out of the clear blue sky as the expression goes? You are talking to them about something and you say your opinion on a topic (not politics) and they give you this sarcastic reply like you are an idiot and they are a college professor. You look at them and you wonder where did this come from? You know you are more educated than them and you are a kinder and softer person than them and yet they try to zap you with their remarks. You sit there and take it not wanting to start anything with them and you vow. you will not go to their place of business or even to a medical office, with people working there like they are.
Some people are argumentative and now days with politics as they are and with all the smear tactics going on through the news articles, editorials, cable network shows with biased journalists sitting there and panel shows that are all for one position only and not even giving equal time to other views. Many times there is a lack of respect for the opposite opinion and these people do not want to hear the opposite or different opinion.
I have a friend in a job that she listens all day to her clients’ opinions. One is this way, the other is that way and of course, now times, it is all about politics. She tries not to take either side; she does not want to lose her clients over a silly disagreement over it. I had an email pal in California, who always called me her little sister. We met through our mutual love of ballroom dancing and she said she liked me better than her real biological sister. We wrote and emailed and even sent a few gifts back and forth during a holiday season. One day in the last election, in 2008, I sent her a forwarded article on the politics of that time and she sent me back a snippy note that I was not to send her those anymore, because she was a senior and knew her mind and she did not want to see anything against the person, she was going to vote for. I said fine, and she and I never emailed again, but once in these four years. I guess during these four years, she did not like me ‘better’ any more than her real sister. This still is sad. I tried once emailing her after about two years; she emailed me back on how she and her husband and family were doing and I never heard again. I thought about her since it is time to vote again.
Even in ballroom dancing, there is controversy between studio owners and their competition of other studio owners. Thirty years ago, a new studio opened and it was quite beautiful and so modern with a large wood floating floor and lots of room to dance and the other amenities were outstanding. A studio owner here who had been in business a long time with a dumpy studio facility had to come to a meeting of the studio owners and her place was the chosen place. I heard he walked in with his head in the air, his nostrils stiff and barely could move his eyes around this gorgeous room. They got through their meeting and he left, with the huffy attitude and said not a word about her place. Everyone there, the other owners commented and applauded her huge facility, did not act envious and were happy for her and also in their intelligent minds realized that no matter where people came to dance, whether their studio or hers, it was all good for the dancing industry and business community. This is the difference between two people, one a mensch (good person) and the other a grober (coarse, envious) person.
I heard a lady on the Home and Garden cable network station say as she came back into the home she and her husband had just bought and had been renovated by the design team on the show. She said “I find this more unbelievable than I could have dreamed about it.” This is a nice phrase to incorporate in our everyday lives. We all can day dream (I do not think it happens in our sleep dreams) about things we want. They can be for the house, like I would like to put granite counter tops in my newly remodeled kitchen. At the time it was remodeled two years ago, I did not want the added expense and now I do not want the new anxiety that comes with more remodeling. I am afraid they will mess up my new porcelain tile beautiful tiles on the flooring or the pretty stainless steel and new appliances or the dust all over my nice draperies there. I should have had it done way back then two years ago and the dust would be dust and the new flooring not installed. Maybe, I will give in soon and make the day dreams of pretty granite countertops come to fruition. To find something more unbelievable than we dreamed about it, is a pretty fine accomplishment.
At the coming in a few months of Christmas and Chanukah, we all dream and imagine the nice gifts to us from others and us to them and perhaps some remodeling of the home, before all the holiday guests appear.
When I was a teen, I use to day dream about a fine young husband I would have one day ( I do) great kids ( I do) a lovely home ( I have) a nice car (I do) becoming a model ( I did a small amount as a teen), of ballroom dancing ( I have since 1977). In those young years, we did not think about good health, we figured it was ours since we were young. As a senior, we think about good health and healthcare available to us, we think of having some fun in our retirement years, of good lives and health and happiness for our grandchildren, of in the case of ladies, our hair looking good all the time, of our bodies not being too heavy, of our mammograms being excellent, of being around maybe, to have great grandchildren (I have a great great niece/nephew-that is ‘two’ one of each)and most of all to be thankful of living to this age we are now.
So I could say and you probably reading this too could count your blessings along with me and know we are successful in our lives, in our health (hopefully) and we are menschs and not grobers. We need not be envious of what someone else attained, rather we should be happy for them, because we too have sought things, bought items, caught good things and even fought for things, we did not think we would ever have. All of us in our own way have obtained lots of what we day dreamed about and as the lady said on the TV show, “it is more unbelievable than I could have dreamed.”
Continue, no matter how old you are, to day dream of acquiring what you want and make it believable, because to believe and have faith in things, is so much better than to disparage or belittle.
It is more believable than unbelievable and you do not need to take a person down a peg. You have raised yourself up and as Neil Armstrong walked on the moon that very special day, you too can walk towards heights so high.