Tom Marr, a competent and popular talk show host used this wording  “ I own my voice.” He was referring to something he had said previously and it is an interesting evaluation of our own self. We all own what we say and think and even if we are influenced by others, it is still us.

There is an expression that says “expect the best and prepare for the worst.” Say no to detractors. This is a good thought for all of us to adhere to. The detractors are all out there and working to come our way. You will meet persons, that say “you look quite well, how much weight have you gained?” This is a backward compliment/insult. Many years ago, I lost a lot of weight and went to a doctor’s office; I had not been to for years. The very heavy young woman at the desk said to me “you have lost so much weight, what is your ailment?” I looked at her heavy and fat body and replied with great vim, “Perhaps you should go to Weight Watchers like I did and lose your weight.”  She turned around and walked away. She could not take the reversed insult I gave her.

Others will say to one who really is not near retirement time and say “how long have you been retired?” They meant that wow; you sure do look old enough to be retired a long time. Some say to others, “are you still living in the old neighborhood?” They are implying that you are in the old area and they have moved on to a better place.

These people are shall I say, feeling inadequate themselves and try to turn their resentment of their own problems towards you. Perhaps they see on TV the ugly insinuations during these critical times in politics now and feel if they can do it, so can we.

 Though this goes on a lot during normal times and not only election years, it more prevalent in these months.

Then there is what I call the sweet people. These people always say something nice and pleasant when they see you after not having seen you for a while. I know of several and one day when I felt I was looking not particularly like me because I had not had my hair done in the beauty salon, she saw me and said “you look great.” She was trying to be nice and maybe she did not notice that my hair was not up to its usual beauty shop look. I smiled and rolled my eyes, but it sure was nice to hear and in her sweet heart, she saw it that way.

When our children are young and complain or cry about something, we always lift them up and dwell on the good things they accomplish and will do more of in the future. We buoy them up and give them confidence. Confidence is not on the grocery shelves of the Giant, Wegmans or Shoppers. It is located in our soul.

It is in our hearts and souls and it is far better to lift someone up, then to throw them down. It is said that leadership is all about influence and impact, not about title and importance. Also to be stunningly polite in what you say and not to hurt someone’s feelings. It is not necessary to do that. Another saying is “never miss a moment to celebrate another.”

When you can do that, then you celebrate yourself. It is a good feeling. As Tom said, this is your OWN voice. Use it well.