Being in the present moment is essential to happiness.
Awareness is a critical ingredient of happiness. Only a conscious person can be
happy. Only a conscious happy person can use the power of making a choice for
his own good. Ego is the enemy of happiness, and our negative thinking can
create unhappiness. Learn not to take things personally. Most of our thinking is
about obsessing over things we have no control over. Happiness is a way to inner
peace and a doorway for peace in the world. Find 10-15 minutes of quiet time
twice a day to meditate or just be with yourself to embrace happiness and peace
of mind. The more we can learn to be analytically mindful the more we will
experience peace and happiness. Know that you are on the right path; authentic
happiness is found within, not in external situations. - With love, Lionel
This is from the Happiness Club website. I disagree with
his notion that ego is the enemy of happiness. We all need to have our ego
intact and we need to have self-esteem and self-respect for our self to survive
well. We should not be so full of self-esteem, that we are overwhelmed with it
and overwhelm others with it. We should respect our self as we respect others.
We do and I do obsess about things we have no control over and I have found out
that a week later, you will look back and think why did I let something so
insignificant bother me for hours and days? You realize then that life has so
much more to offer and save the worrying and obsessing for the things that need
it. Even then, try to think that how you will look at this event a week from now
and maybe, it will not look as bad as you think it is.
I remember when I had to dance in a competition and for
the first six months planning to accomplish it; I was elated and I of course,
was twenty years younger than now. As the week approached, I would think “why am I doing this, for what reason am I going through this tension, anxiety and even fear?” Then I would rationalize it out and think of the rewards I would gather
and I could settle the rewards into my good memory box and I would have joy from them forever. So I went ahead, danced, won trophies and most of all a bit of
added love to my ego column. It never hurts to have something added there and it is always there and especially if you feel a bit down one day, pull out your ego
column and view it and things seem better. It does not make you an insincere
person thinking about yourself; it makes you a glorious person, who had high
hopes on a project, you studied for it, you practiced it and you did it. That is
a nice ego boost regardless of your age.
Children have the sweetest of egos though they probably
have not heard the word yet. Little five years old Ava came to visit many weeks
ago and she loves to run about our house and look at things. She looked at the
simple blue carton of Kleenex tissues and said to me “Grammie, I have that at
home too.” She found common ground in my office as to things she possessed too
and even a simple box of tissues prompted her being proud she has them too. It
was a possession accomplishment and when she recited the Pledge of Allegiance
that made an old Grammie feel a bit of ego uprising that I had such a smart,
beautiful and lovely voiced granddaughter reciting what she had learned in
kindergarten. The other day her daddy told her while he was chatting on the
phone with me, sing the Pledge for Grammie. She replied “I did that last time.”
She repeated it again and old Grammie got another boost of ego soaring at this
lovely child reciting this to me
I only have thirty credits in Psychology from college but that is enough for me as a lay person to realize all of us have to have a bit of some ego. My Aunt Jenny and my Aunt Sarah who adored me as if I were their granddaughter way back in 1944 or so; as poor as they really were, they each had their own individual egos about certain things. Aunt Sarah liked to collect little teacups and vases of all colors. Mind, you they were inexpensive, almost what you would call cheap ones, but she set them out on her shelves as if they were real China pieces and everyone who came to visit got the tour of the teacups/vases when they entered. She had such pride and delight over the way she laid them out on the shelving, that if a connoisseur of China had come to visit her, they might have thought they were in a museum. She had great taste in the colors of the objects and to her, they were her own possessions and their worth was so much to her and her ego was proud of it.
Aunt Jenny did not care about her sister’s art objects, she was proud of
her long and pretty brunette hair which came down to her tussy area. She learned
how to care for it herself, she even snipped it when needed and she braided it
and it lay on the top of her head or the back like a bun. Sometimes, she would
let it out and it laid long and it was beautiful even to a kid like me. She had
ego highs when she brushed it out and the two of them had so few material
possessions, that the cups, vases and hair, all gave them the natural highs of
an ego happening.
I wrote a paper on these two aunts of mine, in my
psychology class when I was thirty-four and I went back to get a college degree
at that old age. Believe me, going to school then at that age was a rarity, now
it is not, and that too was an ego boost. It was said that ‘ego is a mistake to
a nonentity.” I think having a boost to your ego, your self-esteem and yourself
respect is better than eating a piece of chocolate cake, smoking, or eating a
large and fat dinner. If we know how to tame it a bit and not to get snooty or
uppity, then a shot to our ego that is deserved is a fine thing and if we have
earned it by hard work, sacrifice or even luck, so be it. This is essential to happiness and inner peace.
Find something to give your ego a lift and you too will be
I have found my ego boost; I write these articles for my beloved editor, Nayana Davis and The Towson Patch. I do not need a large slice of chocolate cake to give me an elevation in ego. This is a fine ego boost and I love it. As a reader whose name is James (Jim) Dewey Williamson from Savage, Maryland wrote me about my columns said "it's wonderful that your contributions are being recognized and passed on to others and helping them through some troubled times or possibly just providing some enlightenment and encouragement at a time it's needed.
I think that kind of recognition is helpful in your feeling that all your effort is worthwhile."
This is what I mean, when I say we all deserve ego boosts.Thank you my dear friend, Jim. Jim helps me all the time with computer problems and he does it graciously, when I send him a help message via the email.