.

The Needs We All Need

Advice psychologically and some good common sense, both to help everyday living.

The five needs

 •Physiological needs are to do with the maintenance of the

human body. If we are unwell, then little else matters until we recover.

• Safety needs are about putting a roof over our heads and

keeping us from harm. If we are rich, strong and powerful, or have good
friends, we can make ourselves safe.

• Belonging needs introduce our tribal nature. If we are

helpful and kind to others they will want us as friends.

• Esteem needs are for a higher position within a group. If

people respect us, we have greater power.

• Self-actualization needs are to 'become what we are capable

of becoming', which would be our greatest achievement.

Three more needs

These are the needs that are most commonly discussed and

used. In fact Maslow later added three more needs by splitting two of the above
five needs.

Between esteem and self-actualization needs was added:

• Need to know and understand, which explains the cognitive

need of the academic.

• The need for aesthetic beauty, which is the emotional need

of the artist.

Self-actualization was divided into:

• Self-actualization, which is realizing one's own potential,

as above.

• Transcendence, which is helping others to achieve their potential. These were the thoughts and writings of Abraham Maslow. I have presented to you, they are not my words or writings.

Maslow was a founding father of humanist approaches to management. I assume he meant the managing by us the individual handling our own life. I learned all about him in about 1970 when I took a needed psychology course to graduate with my thirty psychology credits. I was about thirty-six then and I already, I thought understood these things, but not in these psychological words.

These thoughts and ideas and the writing of them are words we could live by or perhaps we already do.

We all know if we do not feel well and it is a chronic thing, it can take over our life and can ultimately make us weary to do other
things. The safety aspect is having a home be our sanctuary for us and our
family and is where we come back to each and every day, from either work or
pleasure or even just shopping for our needs. The next one is what lots of us
do, we are kind to others and we realize that they should or would like us. We
all want to be liked and cared about. The esteem is the where we do things and
we feel great esteem over our individual accomplishments, no matter what level
they are about. The self-actualization one means we are cognizant about our
ability and the second part of that is we try and help others to do the same.
His thoughts and ideas were and are still taught in psychology classes
everywhere.

I see people in jobs that really do not pay high wages and yet they seem to include lots of Maslow’s ideas into their life and they manage to give off the aura and appearance of holding a higher position than they do.
They accomplish that with being knowledgeable about their job, they handle it
with efficiency and they act like they are happy doing it. Perhaps they are and
that is a good attribute. They hold their heads high and they change the title
of their job from salesperson to sales associate or sales manager. Sometimes
they call themselves consultants and basically they are because you as the
shopper or customer need their expertise on the item you are purchasing. It can
be a sweater or a huge new stainless steel refrigerator costing over a thousand
dollars. Yet, you hope, they know enough to advise you on your purchase.
However, with the invention of the internet, we are capable of finding out the
necessary good things about the item and we prepare our self with this
knowledge.

When we make friends, we want them to like us and if we give them a present, we want them to like it and to care more about us. When we our
self think highly of our self, then we possess self-esteem which is good for
our ego, our mind and our heart.

When people first learn to ballroom dance, we go there the initial time and we are actually overwhelmed to see others, our age, older than us dancing which we
think at that time is outstanding and beautiful. We imagine, that never will be
look that good or be that exact or even enjoy it.When I first went to the
studio over  thirty-five years ago; the
first thing that hit me was the shelf with about eight large trophies atop it.
I realized they were probably the owners’ pieces, but still I was overwhelmed
with their presence. I thought right then and there, I would like to earn one
of them someday.

Let me tell you in my dancing career, I earned and won fifty-eight trophies and medals and they are mostly on shelves I had built to
accommodate them. The rest of them are in different rooms scattered on desks,
furniture and anywhere they look nice. I am still overwhelmed when I look at them; because I know the hard work I performed to receive them.

From obtaining them, I did receive esteem and self-actualization came from my receiving them for something I performed, worked hard for and
deserved. It did not matter if it was for first, second or third place. The
placing meant not a difference as to the number; I earned it through hard work,
devotion and lots of money for the learning part.

In my stories mentioning ballroom dance, I advise the wisdom to encourage others they have the potential to dance, to win if they compete,
to enjoy if it is done for social happiness or just to have plain old fun.

I have taken Maslow’s brilliant thoughts and I have tried to simplify them into our daily and regular life.

He was a wise man who knew how to reach the students who would study his messages, ideas and brilliant insight into our thoughts and
minds

The self-esteem one is one I have settled on in many of my previous articles and as I have said in former articles and one was just called Ego, how important we feel when we accomplish a fine endeavor. We should be
proud of that and we need not flaunt it; we just should know all about it in
our heart and soul and if others find out about it, that is well and good. It
means the most to us, who deserves the joy we receive from it. We are not like
movie or television stars who need to see our names in lights, in the
newspapers, on television or online. We know it and that justifies our sweet
ego feeling.

There is a saying that says “Be yourself. Everyone else is taken, be you, you’re true you. Your opinion counts. Be positive, remove
negativity.”

All of these thoughts and ideas will make your life more pleasant and you hopefully, will be happier.

On Monday mornings, our sports page always gives a letter grade to the football players. They do not do that for baseball players and I
guess that is because there are so many games, it would be hard to do and
usually there are only before playoffs, sixteen games. The sports writers,
mostly I am sure, never played five minutes of the football sport, name
individual players with A, B, C, D and pluses or minuses.

If the team wins, of course there are more A’s and B’s, though many times even in a winning game, a player may be given a low mark for
his individual actions and even if he had five or six outstanding ones, he
could be awarded a low score,. My theater teacher, way back in 1969 said “ a
critic is one who does nothing himself but criticize, which is surely easier
than doing something at all, even if it is not perfect”. His name was Mr. Paul
Boxell and I never forgot him saying this to us in the class. He was mainly
talking about theater plays and movies, but this can apply to many others.

So do not criticize yourself, do not be your own worst critic, be proud of all you accomplish, all you try and even if it does not turn out perfectly; you still did well, because you tried.



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