I heard this line. It is brief and to the topic. “behind the
next thought.” What do you think it means? I think it means that we think of
something and then a lot of times, there is something behind that thought that can change that first cogitation and comprehension. Sometimes we think of a project we want to do and then the next thought behind the thought comes to the conclusion that perhaps that maybe we should not attempt this at all.
When we first took up ballroom dancing in 1977 and we were
finished the first lesson; on that night I was elated and we went out to
celebrate by eating a late dinner in a nice restaurant. We usually do not eat a
large meal that late, but we were forty-three and forty seven years old
and our digestive systems were quite able to absorb the delayed meal. I was so
encouraged and inspired from this new adventure, so we ate a hearty and high
I was excited from this journey I knew we were starting that
November almost winter night and the thought behind the next thought was that
this was something happening that would affect our life for a longtime.
I like the line that is being used a lot on the television and
on talk shows. It is “I always have your back.” When I first heard it, I was
not sure what it really meant.
Then my son used it to me about something and he said those
words “I always have your back.” Then I knew and loved it for what it means to
the person hearing it said to them. It means someone really cares about you and
they are there for you all the time.
I was that way with my Mom except we did not use that expression.
She knew that I was always present in her life and that gave her comfort even
though in 1984, we did not say those words.
Words are strong expressions of our thoughts and behind the
next thought is usually another great one.
When we are writing down our ideas and words in a piece that
we want others to read; we have to make ourselves clear and concise. Someone
said to me today that there should be a law that before we marry, we should
interview the relatives of the new family. In my day of around 1959, when I got
engaged, then the mother of the bride invited the groom’s family for dinner and
both sets of parents formally met their engaged children.
For a long time now, the future bride and groom live
together which in my opinion is a fine idea to know each other before the
marriage date. This way you live with someone in a daily manner and you see
each other different than my time. My time dating was he took you out on a date
somewhere and then at the end of the evening, he brought you to the home you
lived in with your parents and he did the same and went to his home where he
lived with his parents. No one lived together before marriage, that was the
rule of the times. However, to get to know each other is I think at my senior age
is a better way to learn each other’s the “behind of the next thought.”
Mom told me something that I could not believe. She said
when she and Dad were engaged; they took a trip to Niagara Falls and they spent
the weekend together. I was shocked that in about 1926, she went with a man;
though he was her fiancé and they were not even married. She saw I was shocked
and she said her Mom would not let her go with Dad, unless he showed my
grandmother that he had taken two rooms. Then my grandmother ‘allowed’ my Mom to go off with her fiancé. This was an interesting to me because Mom was ahead
of her own time by doing this. Of course, my father was always polite, proper
and prim as I knew him; so Mom was ‘safe’ with him. She probably had never been out of the city and so this was a "thought behind the thought.’’
Times change and we change and I am glad Mom had the chance
to do this and I am sure all her girlfriends were amazed; she chose to do this
way back in 1926. I wish I had asked her more questions on her wedding and
where she went on her honeymoon. It would have taken a really neat and fancy
trip for the honeymoon to top the pre marriage time. I know she had a fancy
wedding that Dad paid for because I saw the beautiful gown she wore and I
assume it was a gala affair, because Dad was doing very well in those days.
My nephew in California wants me to put down all the family
events and stories so he can know them and pass them along to his son. One day,
I will write them all down for him, because I am the last surviving member of
the Sohmer family and my memory is excellent about the happenings, the people
and the good and bad times of most of the members of Dad’s and Mom’s families.
So “behind the next thought”, will be my thoughts on those
behind meanings and another saying says “someone is there” and that will be me,
a seventy-eight year old senior, who will go through the moments of her life
then when Mom and Dad were a young couple with two children and my remembrances
of those long ago days and the stories I knew and the ones she told me about
So even though they did not live together, nor did I with my
fiancé, I knew lots of delightful anecdotes from those long ago days, as we use
to call them “the olden days.” My late friend Virginia Woerner who was five
years older than me, use to talk with me on the phone and we would reminisce
about those times. She lived in the area of Cumberland when she was young and I lived here in Baltimore. It was interesting to compare notes of our two
upbringings. They were more similar than disparate; and even though we were of
different religions, we were brought up with the same values of family, respect,
and the desire to better ourselves economically and the love we had for our
parents. She was an only child, which was the difference between us, I had an
older brother. It was fun to think about those years and behind the next
thought, we were the same little girls then. She said in a letter to me before
she passed on, that everyone once in their lifetime should have a friend like
Elita. I felt the same way about her.
Behind the next thought, someone is there and that is us.