I went to a funeral today. Actually, I was not there in person. I watched the actual ceremony and service via the computer and the Internet. It is hard for me to walk at the present time and so I felt like I was there. I sat at my computer in my office chair and my husband joined me too. I had tears in my eyes, as the clergy spoke of the deceased and so did her sons.
I saw the casket, the audience and the immediate family. I heard of her kindness, her competency in her profession, her devotion to her husband, sons, and daughter-in-law and to her friends and everyone, she came in contact with during her life.
She passed on too soon and though I never met her; I heard a lot about her life before and after she married her husband. I came away with the thoughts that I wished I had known her personally, even if only for a short time. Once a few weeks ago, I was in the husband’s office, sitting in the waiting room and I heard a very sweet lady talking to some of the employees there and I found out afterwards, that it was the wife of the dentist I was seeing. From what I heard sitting a small distance away, I could tell she was a nice, caring and good person.
I had the habit every time I visited there for dental work; I always asked how his wife was, even though I had never met her in person. I had been told by others, what a kind lady she was and since I am a kind lady too, I asked about her every single time as if I knew her. I am glad I did.
Sometimes, there are people in this world who we do not know and when we hear about them after they are gone; we wish we had known them, even if it was for a few days, months or even had one hour of contact with them. We find it to be a great loss and we know if we had the chance, our life would have been enhanced.
I never knew any of my four grandparents; they were all gone before I popped on the scene. I never really knew much about my Dad’s folks, other than their names and what my father’s father did for a living when he came from Russia in about 1900. He ran for a while a cotton mill in Savage, Maryland. I tried a few years ago to research the mill which is a historic place now in Savage. Through my research, I came across a person who lives there named James Dewey Williamson and he got me some pictures of those old days and I tried to pick out my Grandfather’s face in the group photo. Since I had never really seen my grandfather in person or even in a photo, I could not. I think I may have seen his name mentioned in some of the articles he showed me. It was nice to see his name; even that brought me closer to him. Jim was very kind to me via the Internet and we now are email pals emailing each other on politics, life, grandchildren and watching our diets.
I knew some about my Mom’s mom which was told to me by my Mom. She liked to dress up, even though they were quite poor. She wore a girdle to make her slimmer looking and she cleaned the home wearing high heeled shoes. She loved her seven kids and was a widow at a very young age. I did not know much about my mom’s father. He died when Mom was very young as the people did in those days. I wish I had asked Mom and Dad more about their parents. I was named after Mom’s mom, as is the custom in our religion.
On tonight and tomorrow there is the holiday of Yom Kippur. On this day, tomorrow, we remember our deceased relatives and say prayers for them and remember what they meant to us in our life. I will say them for my Mom, Dad and brother and those deceased grandparents I never knew. We light a candle for them that if a real candle, burns for over 24 hours and the more modern way, to plug in an electric candle running for the same amount of time. We remember them with love, kind moments and the delight that they were in our lives.
There is a saying that says “some people lift themselves in others’ failures.” How about a saying that says “lift us in other peoples’ accomplishments.”
This would mean that we could emulate good people, try to be like them because they were kind, funny, dear, considerate, worthwhile and most of all they were sincere in their desire to be excellent in their life. This way we honor these people in a tribute because we become more like them and that is how we respect them.
Therefore, we would be enjoying and praising our self and reflecting the image of the person who is gone; because now we can be more like them.
My friend’s wife who passed on and her funeral was today, on the day of the evening before Yom Kippur, was as the Rabbi said “called home, before she was seen enough and gone too soon.”
Her name was Dr. Marlene Fae JaRo. Her husband is my dentist, Dr. Joseph Feinsod. May the family be consoled about her goodness, competency and love for them. It will never leave them. I am sorry I never got up that day in the dental office and said “Hi, I am your husband’s patient and I have heard so many excellent things about you, for over three years that I have been coming here. It is my pleasure to meet you today.”
I am saying that now through this article, it has been so nice to hear all the good you attained in your profession, your love for your husband, children, friends and relatives. No one who knew you, will ever let your memory be forgotten. The candle in our heart will always be lit.